Can I Get Your Critique On This Page? What Should I Improve To Make It Better?

Hi nisin, Not bad. But you should edit and proof before asking for comments even on Answers. Did Dennis really say "I...am...fried". It reads like a typo, but maybe it isn't. Be very careful about ly ending adverbs. You have a lot and they don't help the flow. Tighten it up a bit and it will be good.